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Life Beyond The Ledge

Life Beyond The Ledge

Ramblings about my life, my mental health & my physical rehabilitation following my suicide attempt. “They say don’t look back, but sometimes it’s important to see how far you’ve come.”

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The Mental Hospital – Part 1

October 31, 2020October 31, 2020 ~ BeyondTheLedge ~ 11 Comments

Following on from my suicide attempt at the bridge on the 3rd February 2018, 14 months before I actually jumped, I had been subject to a mental health act assessment (MHAA). I agreed with the team to have daily appointments with the home treatment team (HTT) as an alternative to being admitted into hospital. As … Continue reading The Mental Hospital – Part 1

Sectioned On A Spinal Ward

September 1, 2020September 1, 2020 ~ BeyondTheLedge ~ 2 Comments

After I’d jumped off the bridge, I wasn’t immediately sectioned, and no, not just because I was in a coma! I was actually sectioned on the 10th June. So over 2 months after I’d jumped, but still in Derriford Hospital. The psych team that visited me at Derriford were from psych liaison, so seeing an … Continue reading Sectioned On A Spinal Ward

A Little More Beth

June 18, 2020August 29, 2020 ~ BeyondTheLedge ~ Leave a comment

After my Mum was sectioned, she was sent to a specialist eating disorder unit 350 miles away in Norwich. Newmarket House. We didn’t know how long she would be there or if she would even survive her stay. Despite her anorexia and demons she battled, Mum was always the one who took care of us. … Continue reading A Little More Beth

Critical Condition

June 4, 2020April 8, 2021 ~ BeyondTheLedge ~ 5 Comments

You hear of people being in critical condition but you never think it will happen to you. But to me, it did. As I mentioned before, I recently received my medical notes. My ICU ones are no doubt the most difficult to read. There’s pages and pages of different people having done different things to … Continue reading Critical Condition

The Beginning Of My Ending

June 1, 2020April 8, 2021 ~ BeyondTheLedge ~ 1 Comment

As mentioned, there is a lot more to my story than many know. Very few people in my life are aware of this but as promised, this blog is a place to share so let’s rewind to a year ago today. March 23rd 2019. A year ago today was the day I first tried to … Continue reading The Beginning Of My Ending

My Final 48 Hours

May 31, 2020April 8, 2021 ~ BeyondTheLedge ~ 5 Comments

This post is going to cover the events that happened in the 48 hours prior to when I jumped off the bridge. It was the Saturday 6th April. I’d left home early evening on the 5th. I’d told Matt I was working, but I wasn’t. I was going to take my life. I’d spent the … Continue reading My Final 48 Hours

The Last Drive

May 29, 2020April 8, 2021 ~ BeyondTheLedge ~ 2 Comments

I will never forgot the drive to the bridge that morning. I’d set my alarm for 5am, snuck downstairs to get dressed and got in my car. I winced as I started it because the noise of the engine cut through the silence of the night. It isn’t a short drive to the bridge, it’s … Continue reading The Last Drive

At 7:14am, I Jumped.

May 27, 2020April 8, 2021 ~ BeyondTheLedge ~ 14 Comments

Following on from my post ‘The Last Drive’. I got out my seat, looked in my mirror at myself and it was then it really hit me. F**k, I’m really doing this. F**k. I started walking along the pavement out of the car park and down to the bridge. I felt so calm yet my … Continue reading At 7:14am, I Jumped.

Surviving The Survival

May 22, 2020August 29, 2020 ~ BeyondTheLedge ~ Leave a comment

I’ve written quite a lot about some of my physical battles in hospital, but this post I’m going to focus more on the mental side of it. I don’t think I could ever find the words to describe the feeling of waking up alive after I was certain I would die. In a split second, … Continue reading Surviving The Survival

The Left Leg

May 11, 2020August 29, 2020 ~ BeyondTheLedge ~ 4 Comments

Throughout my recovery, one of the most painful body part has been my left leg. Yes, my right leg snapped and was operated but that was nothing compared to the pain I was experiencing down my left side. My left femur was broken in several places and again, had been operated on but still, this … Continue reading The Left Leg

Devon Air Ambulance – Part 2

May 1, 2020August 29, 2020 ~ BeyondTheLedge ~ Leave a comment

Carrying on from my last post, I had arranged to meet Kate and Paul, two critical care paramedics with Devon Air Ambulance, near the bridge I had jumped off. We were going to revisit the scene. This was probably the single biggest challenge I’d faced since coming out of hospital. Even in hospital, I remember … Continue reading Devon Air Ambulance – Part 2

Devon Air Ambulance – Part 1

April 25, 2020September 9, 2020 ~ BeyondTheLedge ~ Leave a comment

As many of you know, after I had jumped, I was air lifted to Derriford by the Devon Air Ambulance. What many don’t know however is that is not where my journey with them ended. They have, and have continued to play a massive part in my recovery. The team have gone way above and … Continue reading Devon Air Ambulance – Part 1

The Unsung Hero’s

April 11, 2020August 29, 2020 ~ BeyondTheLedge ~ 1 Comment

I know my blog jumps (no pun intended) around in time a lot which I apologise for (and something I will try and fix), but with all that is going on right now and the pressure the NHS is under, I thought this is the perfect opportunity to talk about some of my experiences. There … Continue reading The Unsung Hero’s

R, M & The Police Negotiator – Part 2

March 14, 2020April 8, 2021 ~ BeyondTheLedge ~ Leave a comment

February 3rd 2018. R put the blue lights and sirens on and we raced away from the bridge.. I didn’t know where we were going and I couldn’t think straight enough to even care at that point. I was just so cold and gasping for breath as I hyperventilated. All that fear that I had … Continue reading R, M & The Police Negotiator – Part 2

R, M & The Police Negotiator – Part 1

March 13, 2020April 8, 2021 ~ BeyondTheLedge ~ 2 Comments

In this post, apologies, but we’re going back in time once again. Back to the end of January 2018. I was now under the care of the Home Treatment Team (crisis team). They were visiting me daily after the incident where I had been restrained and prevented from jumping off a bridge onto the duel … Continue reading R, M & The Police Negotiator – Part 1

On the R of Roll

February 26, 2020February 27, 2020 ~ BeyondTheLedge ~ 1 Comment

I’ve lost count of the amount of times I heard that. Every 3 hours of every day and every night. I had made the decision not to have my spine operated on. Although I made the decision not to have the operation, I have no recollection of doing so. I was in ICU at the … Continue reading On the R of Roll

One Three Six – Part 2

February 23, 2020February 23, 2020 ~ BeyondTheLedge ~ Leave a comment

It’s 29th January 2018. Carrying on from my last post, here I was, handcuffed, scared and ashamed in the back of the police car with no idea what was going to happen next. At the scene on the bridge, we sat in the police car awaiting an ambulance but as it wasn’t a priority call … Continue reading One Three Six – Part 2

One Three Six

February 13, 2020February 22, 2020 ~ BeyondTheLedge ~ 1 Comment

Part 1 On the 29th of January 2018 I was detained under section 136 of the Mental Health Act. Section 136 is a power that is used by the police in order to help someone and take them to a place of safety to be seen by Mental Health professionals. It is only used as … Continue reading One Three Six

Determined To Die, Determined To Live.

February 7, 2020 ~ BeyondTheLedge ~ Leave a comment

In my original ‘coming out’ post about my mental health and suicide attempt, I wrote about still having dark days. Really dark days. I think it’s really important to say and for people to know that jumping off the bridge didn’t suddenly cure my demons or mental health, far from it. Jumping not only didn’t … Continue reading Determined To Die, Determined To Live.

It’s The Police, What’s Your Name?

February 4, 2020April 8, 2021 ~ BeyondTheLedge ~ 3 Comments

The very first time I had any police contact in my life occurred in August 2014. I was 18 and had just finished my A Levels after 2 years at Devonport High School For Girls. (DHSG). My mental health deteriorated significantly over those 2 years. I’d been permanently excluded in April 2012 from my previous … Continue reading It’s The Police, What’s Your Name?

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